Feeling hurt and betrayed
My husband is currently on a camping trip with his guy friends, I went to use his iPad he left at home to play our daughter some white noise for bedtime and I saw a "recommended" video of some raunchy stuff. That led me to looking in his history which I know is wrong. But I basically found tons of porn videos he has looked at in his history & they go way back so it is a frequent thing. I feel so hurt and betrayed like I've been cheated on in a way. I know some may disagree & say it's a "guy thing" but I truly feel disrespected as his wife. And we have had discussions in the past about porn and he assured me that he doesn't use it & even told me he thought it is disrespectful. I'm so hurt & I don't even know how to react in this situation. I wish I had someone to stay with because I don't even think I can be around him when he gets home. I know we need to discuss things but he has lied in the past & so he might just try to play this off or say I'm overreacting. Our daughter is only 4 months old and I am at a loss of what to do in this situation. I feel like our marriage has already faced so many challenges in this first year but how can I even trust him after this? Please any advice?