So I’m writing this to help myself understand it more... and cause I need to help people in my old situation. So in October I lost all of my friends from one stupid fight with my best friend. My old friend group was basically led by my best friend so everyone sided with her and left me. I kept trying to apologize when in reality none of it was my fault and they all just wanted to hurt me. I’m the type of person who blames everything on themselves and tries to fix everything.... don’t be this person. I was completely cut off and honestly had nobody to rely on. I went back to my childhood best friend and we because super close again, so I had one person now. Only having one person to rely on hurts. And it’s hard. I fell into months of depression and anxiety. My old friend group honestly would just keep taking stabs at me like I was a punching doll and not a human being. This just made everything worse. I began having an eating disorder, I was binge eating then would over dose on stool softeners to make me lose weight... then I began to starve myself.

Once i found some honest friends and the most amazing friends I’ve ever had my life completely took a 180 turn for the better. I began eating healthy again, slowly my depression eased off and my anxiety got better. The way that small things have such a large impact on yourself and other people is insane.

So what I’m trying to say here is a few things:

1. DO NOT TRY TO KEEP IN TOUCH OR STAY IN ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE IF THEY DONT CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR WELL BEING. THEY ARE ASSES AND DONT DESERVE YOU

2. Sometimes in an argument you literally have to not respond to help yourself.

3. Get help if you need it

4. Never get so invested in someone else that you can’t focus on yourself anymore and loose meaning

So this school year I am hoping this cotillion through the school that basically every girl does (including my old friends). I was so anxious and nervous to do it because of them. Then I realized that these 6 girls were controlling my life, and they weren’t even trying to. I decided to do the club and not let anyone or anything ruin my highschool years

Sorry for this hot mess of a post but I just felt someone needed to hear this. Including myself.