I'm 15 and I've been talking to a guy online. He is 18. I started talking to him a little over a year when I was 14. I felt very lonely at that time, because of private problems. I was really happy when I started talking to him, because he was a sweetheart and he just made me feel happy. Then one day he told me that he has fallen in love with me and I was really happy and I thought I loved him as well, but I'm not sure anymore. He hasn't seen me yet when he told me that he loved me and he was always pressuring me to show him how I look. (I am really shy and I was even worse and anxious back then) I felt pressured, because he said that he would leave when I wouldn't show him and I was really scared of him leaving, so I showed him how I looked and he was saying that I was beautiful and pretty and so many compliments, it made me feel really happy. After some months we started to get into fights. They were mostly about me being depressed or in a bad mood or something, but since last year Dezember or so we started having even more fights.

During those fights he sometimes called me names and I got really scared even though we still were talking online. It was about me not wanting to call him because I was too anxious. I was scared of him leaving so I called him, but only for some seconds to say hey. He was satisfied with that for some days and then kept pressuring me to call more.

I got several panic attacks while I was trying to call him (Which I didn't do). After some more time the fights have gotten even worse. He said that he would slice his wrists one time and it really scared me, because he kept saying it was my fault. Other times he said he would hang himself or kill himself any other way and he even showed me a photo of his arm with scratches on it, where he said that he didn't cut deep enough. After some time he said that he was lying about that and that it was only his cat. (he has 2 cats) Every time I tried to leave and end things with him he said he would kill himself, when I leave, so i stayed. The only times we could "talk normally" was while sexting (which I am really ashamed of). He kept sending me pictures of him, at first i said that I wouldn't want nudes from him, but then he thought that I wouldn't like him eniugh so I felt bad. After that I felt bad because he always said how much he wanted to see my body, so I send him pictures of me (I didn't know that it was illegal at that time and I'm grossed out about sending those pictures to him, I feel dumb about it). I already asked him to delete those and now after some time he finally accepted (more or less) that I am not in love with him, but there is one problem, he wanted to meet me for some time and was working for it to get the money together to fly over, I tried to break up with him befire he buys the tickets, but it didn't work and he will be here on August the 1st. I'm really stressed about that and I'm scared to meet him.

I talked about this on an app called vent and some said that he is acting manipulative, but I feel like this would be my fault, the fact that he wants to kill himself and him being depressed, because of my moods all the time.

I just don't know what to do and I'm really scared.