Only took until CD 50, but finally got a real positive!!

We miscarried back in February, my due date would have been 8/20, so I had been putting a lot of pressure on myself to conceive prior to that date, something inside just felt that it would heal the pain. I was also terrified it wouldn’t happen and was already planning to have 8/20 off from work to mope and commiserate all day.

My period was supposed to start 7/21, (I have PCOS, average cycle per glow 31 days) so of course I was testing like a mad woman days leading up to that and after. All BFNs, no menses.

I work at a doctors office that has family practice on one side, OBGYN on the other. One of the FP PAs ordered me an hcg qualitative last week, it was negative. It stung at first, but really helped me move on. I started weight watchers and just tried to focus my energy on being positive and getting as healthy as possible. Yesterday I started speaking with OBGYN and we decided that since I was at CD 50, might as well start an rx for provera to reset my cycle, and perhaps look into clomid or metformin. Per protocol they ordered me an hcg quantitative, and the nurse called me in to her office to get the results. She was in tears! (We are close as co-workers and she was by my side with my loss) She had the results printed out and highlighted, it was positive!! My level was only 60, in the normal range for 3-4 weeks, which makes since based off potential days we could have conceived. My cycle was just COMPLETELY weird this time! But my body didn’t let me down, just dragged it out on me I guess! I’ll have a repeat lab tomorrow to make sure levels are rising.

I know that was a long story, but I wanted to share for other women out there holding out hope after a loss. All I can say is, stress will NOT help you, it will only make things worse. But, hope and prayers and positive thoughts go a long long long way, and sometimes letting go of the hurt is the best way to heal.

Love and baby dust to you all!! xoxo