So this is the only place I feel like I can talk about this...

1. I hate this in between weight gain. I've only gained 4 lbs but I feel like everything looks wider. But I don't look pregnant. Just chubby. I'm a weight lifter and take great care of my body but all these changes has got me feeling so ugly and so uncomfortable in my own skin. No one gets what I am saying either, yes I'm happy and grateful for this baby but I need something to make feel pretty again. I am not used to not having a flat tight stomach and with it starting to look round and chubby just can't seem to make myself like myself. I don't want to do anything either, I need to get a hair cut and get my eyebrows down, I need to do my make up more but I just do not like myself at the moment. I think by the time I am really pregnant I will feel like the end is in sight and I can go back to being myself again. But right now I just feel like all I am gonna do is get heavier and more unhappy with myself. I know this was my choice to get pregnant but I never thought my complex with my weight would be this bad.

Ok I'm done with my pity party. I just needed to get it out. Please don't judge me.