I had my first baby a week ago today. I know that being exhausted, overwhelmed, and extra emotional is normal the first couple weeks postpartum, but with a history of depression, I know I’m more likely to get PPD, and based on the way I’ve been feeling this past week, I’m increasingly worried about it. I can’t stop crying. Even in public. I cried at my daughter’s first pediatrician appointment, I cried when a stranger on the elevator saw me with my daughter and asked how things were going. I’m weepy all day everyday, and I’m not entirely sure why. I’ve been dodging phone calls and visitors this week because I know I will not be able to talk about the birth or how I’m doing without sobbing, and I don’t wanna cry in front of visitors. This first week with a newborn has just been so hard—harder than I ever imagined—and I’m just not sure how we’ll manage, it all feels a little hopeless. And after having to have her unexpectedly by c-section, I also feel a little helpless and inadequate at this mom stuff. After the first night home, the thought crossed my mind that we’ve made a horrible mistake having her now, and I feel like an awful mother even thinking that for a second! I’m honestly a little resentful toward her, not as attached to her as I’d hoped and expected to be, and I don’t understand why I feel this way—we tried very long and hard to conceive her and all my life I always wanted to be a mom. So why the hell am I feeling this way?! Is this normal? Does it sound like the Baby Blues? Or could it be the beginning of PPD?