Need advice on my baby shower date, and conflict with a friend... I need your honest opinions on if I should do something different.

So we are going to be having our first baby February 5th 2019, and my husband and I are beyond excited after trying for so long and a miscarriage last Thanksgiving. Well we know it is a little early, but we want to have the baby shower before all of the holidays so that we don't conflict with any of our families travel plans since it is such a busy time of year. We also don't want to do it in January because that is an extremely busy time of the year for his work, plus I'm worried people will be all traveled out from the holidays. We decided that Saturday November 10th won't work because that's both mine and my aunts and my grandpa's bday (crazy right!?!), so we decided November 17th will be the best day for us and our families.

Jumping to my friend... I care about her dearly, but through my whole pregnancy and ttc journey she has been such a sarcastic negative person. She is always that way about everything in life, and that's part of why I like her bc she is brutally honest and blunt, and her sarcasm makes me laugh... But she knows how important being a mom is to me, and the whole pregnancy so far and ttc journey, if I make a comment like, "I am so excited to be a mom" or "look at this cute outfit", her response is a short "ew", or "gross". She makes comments all the time how she thinks kids are disgusting or if there is a baby crying when we are out she says she hates kids and wants to slap the one that is crying. And she isn't joking about it. She truely dislikes kids and says she will never have one. When her dog tried to bite her 6 month old niece, she blamed the baby and couldn't understand why her bother and sister in law were mad. But with all of that she says she is excited for me but it seems very forced and then she just puts down everything I say about it. When I told her the name that we are wanting to go with while we were out at breakfast, her response was "Omg, I hate it... please don't do that". She has said that about EVERY name that I have ever mentioned. Now I know she isn't wanting to hurt my feelings intentionally because she knows I like her blunt honestly in most situations... But this is actually starting to hurt my feelings, and I know if I say anything about it, she will talk to her bf (my hubby's friend) and her other friends about it... Honestly, my husband, aunt, mom and grandma all have been telling me for about 2 years now that I need to drop her as a friend because of how negative she is all the time, and some past things that she did to intentionally interfere with my career, and is just sometimes mean when she thinks she is being funny. I try to slowly distance myself, but she is my friend and I don't want to feel like a jerk for cutting her off...

Well anyways, that was some.back story on her, at the same breakfast she said that she hated my baby name, she asked about when we are having the shower, and I told her that we want to do sometime in November before the holidays, but not too early and nothing is set yet. I didn't tell her the 17th because we haven't officially decided or told our mom's yet. And immediately she goes "well it just can't be the 17th because it is my mom's birthday and I won't come to your baby shower". I left it alone and didn't say anything because now I really feel like I am in an uncomfortable situation... Do you think it would be selfish of me to keep it as the 17th (no invites or anything have been sent since it's still so early and we need to talk to our moms), or do you think I should just suck it up and change the date? I wanted to get honest options before I mention to her what we will decide to do because I need an unbiased opinion.

Thoughts or advice is greatly appreciated. Staying anonymous because I know how mean the comments can get here sometimes