I need help please 😔 depression

I lash out somethings with overwhelming emotions and I legit cannot control it. I know that it’s wrong when it’s happening but I just can’t stop myself and afterwards I feel so unbelievably shit.

I get so emotional every night and can’t stop crying. I feel so lifeless sometimes and I just feels so horrible cause I just don’t care about anything.

This has been going on for years and I just want it to stop. It’s ruining my relationship and I hate myself for it, I just want to know if I can just go to my local doctors to get this sorted out.