Hi Everyone - I'm hoping for some advice. I've got 2 questions/problems going around my head (I'm blaming those pesky hormones!) - sorry it's a long post and a "brain dump"!!

First one...

How do you deal with social situations when you are in early pregnancy? The ones when you would be expected to drink....

I've got one coming up and I'm really stuck - we havent told ANYONE yet that I'm almost 11 weeks pregnant & we really dont want to tell anyone until after the 12 weeks scan and get the ok.

This group are CONSTANTLY asking about if we are pregnant and now I think about it, actually pretty rude about 'pushing me' to drink all the time at social things.

We've been trying for 9 months and the last 6 months I've been living a much better lifestyle to prepare my body, including mostly nor drinking, it's a personal preference for me, but something I valued. One couple in the group are also trying for a baby - (they have one son), and she drinks a lot of the time and eats whatever foods "until they have a positive pregnancy test". Her personal choice again.

I am not a good liar (I'm not well practiced!) so really torn as to what to do.

Do I "fake" drink? (But might get caught out if people are doing "rounds") or do I play up a previous medical condition (for which I've had a fair amount of antibiotics for). I have had a ongoing chest infection. I also have had some "girlie" issues I could say are causing problems too (but my husband says that feels too close to home and he doesnt want to risk any bad luck).

How should I deal with the party?

It's not the type of thing I could drive to (we are getting the train). Nor is it a house party I can "pour my own"

Secondly....

I love being creative in everything we do. I've got a great idea to "surprise" my friends we are pregnant and super excited on pulling it off.

That said, one couple in the group (the ones that push about drinking all the time - ironically!) are also trying for another baby, and I really worry they wont take it well when we announce it in a group situation.

When they had their 1st son, another friend fell pregnant before them and she especially really (really) struggled with it and left after they told them. She got really upset.

Dont get me wrong, every "Facebook announcement" I saw when we were trying completely floored me for half an hour, but if it was my friend, I'd genuinely be happy.

I am worried making a friend "announcement" will (1) upset my friend, but equally (2) this is something my husband and I REALLY want to do.

My husband says we shouldnt worry and that they already have a son so know they "can" - I've said it still will hurt them though. He had also reminded me they are not trying like we did (nothing wrong with "going with the flow" but if it's something you REALLY want, I personally think you would do some research and focus the body to getting ready - which they dont do. In fact they hardly ever have sex). My husband REALLY doesn't want us to pre-tell this couple (mostly because we told them a secret before and they blabbed!). He wants our nearest friends to all be together when we tell them as we are really close.

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest! It's hard when you have no one to talk to (it's a GREAT secret to have, but I'd love to talk through this with someone)

Xxx