My ex was very controlling from the start, he tried to tell me what time I needed to be home would blow up my phone when I was with friends. Tell me I needed to go home now because he was hungry. He would call me ugly, would make me feel like crap. Made me feel like everything that went wrong was my fault, I would cook for him and it tasted like “shit” and looked like “shit” to him. Nothing ever satisfied him so naturally I became angry. I started defending myself and then at one point I started becoming the abuser and started physically attacking him... I know i was very wrong I accept it I became someone I absolutely detested but I felt like it was the only way to gain back my control, stupid excuse I know. Once I came home and he was stupid drunk, his eyes scared me they were black, full of darkness he looked so evil. I felt very threatened, his hands were balled up in fists and he demanded I go to the bedroom because he was going to beat the shit out of me. I believed him I know I deserved it but I was too much of a coward to face the punishment I deserved. A day later we got into another argument things got physical I slapped him a few times he blew up and punched me in the face my head and neck about 6times. I know I deserved it that time and I just grew to hate him even more. I got what I wanted, for him to hit me. I felt bad because I ended up leaving him finally after getting physical once more but I know the only reason he held back was because I’m pregnant. I’ve seen who he truly is, he’s never made me feel beautiful he always reminded me I needed to lose weight that I was the ugliest girl he’s ever been with and he could do better. He even tried controlling what MY daughter needed to eat, I told him to be quiet and he started calling me stupid fat ugly bitch, he then proceeded to raise his fist at me ... again. He would yell at me in front of my daughter, call me ugly names. He would pull my hair if he thought I was looking at another male, he would constantly check my phone, he isolated me from my friends even my family. Or at least tried with my family. He tried changing but it doesn’t last, this time I saw the change he was trying to make but I felt like it was just too late and felt like it was going to last only through the pregnancy and he would fall back to his ways, I needed a way out and acting like a crazy bitch was it. I couldn’t forget... everything that happened, he would say I love you and I would stay quiet... I hated his touch, I would be in the bedroom while he was in the living room I tried my best to stay away from him I just couldn’t stand his presence anymore. Maybe he deserves to be someone more like him. We were two very different people.. well we are.