Am I being unreasonable?

Question

I am so fucking angry at my boyfriend! We’ve discussed baby names and settled on a name for either boy or girl. Few days later we announced our pregnancy to our parents, since then his mother has gone out and bought baby stuff (which I am grateful for) but at the same time it’s like she’s decided what things we’re having because she’s just gone and got them without mentioning it to us! Whereas my parents have told me to pick what I want and they’d pay...at least my parents are giving me the option to actually decide what I want for my own baby! I know I sound like a bitch and I feel like a bitch for writing it but i didn’t go through 2 miscarriages, finally get my rainbow...which will be my last baby, for someone else to determine what baby things I have! Anyway back to the name thing....we decided on a boys name and a girls name. My stupid partner has gone and told his mother what names we’ve decided on! Behind my back!! It’s a massive deal to me and she has the biggest mouth in the world. She doesn’t need to know every detail. We don’t even know the sex yet! I actually feel like I’m just the one carrying this child and his over bearing mother thinks she’s just gonna take over. I feel literally like I’m being pushed out of my own pregnancy 😡 sorry about my vent

Answer

just be grateful for what she’s doing for you. you can always return the items in exchange for what you want

Answer

I understand where you’re coming from but I also know there are so many women here that would kill to have a MIL that was as supportive and helpful as yours. My MIL doesn’t even seem to care that we’re pregnant and flat out said no when my mom offered for them to cohost my baby shower. I would love it if she just bought us stuff and sounded as excited for her grandchild as yours does. You don’t have to use everything she gets you, just say thank you and you can put it to the side if you don’t want it. Or just exchange it for something you do want. Or... why don’t you register and then share that with her so she can direct her spending there. 
My own mom has been exactly like your MIL. She keeps sending us stuff and she even created my whole registry for me. I’m grateful that shes so excited and just above and beyond happy to be a grandma. I’m not always taking her suggestions and I went and edited my registry but it was just so nice to have someone so happy for me

Answer

Youre being unreasonable. If u didnt want people excited for you and buy you things, why tell them in the first place

Answer

I would be thrilled if my mother in law actually did that. I don’t think you should be mad at that at all. 
Keep the receipts incase you don’t use the stuff or want to exchange.

Answer

I'm addition to what other people said, you might also be able to redirect these items as "for Grandma's house" either now or later on.  
Maybe you could also talk to your SO about what kinds of things you want to keep private and for how long.  I have had to ask my husband to a few times "can we please just enjoy this as a couple before you pull out your phone to what's app it to your family?". I keep telling him that it makes me feel like if he can't what's app things to his family, it doesn't count.  He is usually pretty understanding.

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Girl I feel ya there! Gift receipts! Take it all back and tell her, I decide what I want for my child 😂

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TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. OMFG. Mama's boys are the worst. My husband is the same, she'll text me about things that he and o have talked about that she didn't need to be a part of ! Uuuggghhh. Honestly you're pregnant, this is as great of am excuse as any to say something to her!

Answer

Her buying things for the baby is a way of showing she cares and support. If you don’t want or like them then don’t use them. But don’t tell your partner or her that you don’t want the items it’s not worth ruining relationships over and is petty, pregnant or not. I see some women justifying your feelings because Your pregnant, I’ve been pregnant before and am now and I know that hormones are raging from time to time but it doesn’t mean we can’t think before we act as to not hurt other people. This is really a matter of you either not liking your MIL for some reason or your jealous of her and her sons relationship, it’s clear as day. To avoid ruining your relationship with your partner or MIL I would start thinking before reacting. You never know you might need her help someday with the baby and you’re going to feel like shit about treating her bad for no good reason when that day comes. I also hope you told your partner to keep the names a secret and didn’t assume he’s a mind reader about not telling. Otherwise you have no right to be mad at him. Just remember you can’t take back your actions pregnant or not when you hurt people.

Answer

I think I’d just be happy to get anything. We have a low income and there’s lots of things I wish I could get for my baby, that I just can’t right now. Thankfully we have some baby stuff leftover from my youngest, but I’d love it if someone spoiled me. 
Granted, I don’t have a mother in law, as my husbands mother passed away before we met so I don’t exactly have that problem.

Answer

As someone who has a similar mother in law, I can totally understand where you're coming from. Its the sort of thing That's easy for outsiders to say "just be grateful" and think you're being unreasonable, but if you have someone so overbearing and a typical matriarch it's actually really difficult to deal with.
We got married a couple of years ago and she totally rail roaded our wedding. Again, I sound like an ungrateful cow but she totally took over and would go behind my back booking certain things and changing things with caterers.
I knew that when I got pregnant she'd be the same. Its my first baby, I want to research bedroom decor and clothes and pushchairs and all that for myself, I'm excited, but importantly I don't want to do any of that until I'm 6 months. She keeps sending me photos of things she's found and we have such different tastes. She's already started crafted things as we live so close by I will have to use them and have them up in my house or on my baby.
Like you, I know this comes across as ungrateful 😂 I just graciously accept and will make the baby wear those things when we see her so as not to disappoint her. 
Just wanted to say I totally empathise with you. It's your baby and you want to do things your way, yet you feel like you can't and don't wanna cause a conflict or be rude.

Am I being unreasonable?

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