Do I need psychological help?

Question

I’m a 23 year old woman and I was raised within a very catholic family. So sex is something you just don’t want to mention in front of my parents. My mom has spent my whole life drilling all these ideas about how unmarried sex defiles you. You probably know the kind of things she has said to me. But anyway, I started having sex with my boyfriend a month ago (we are on a long relationship) and I feel so guilty I don’t even enjoy it at all! It’s like even though I know the things my mom says are not true, I still feel dirty and unworthy and after having sex, I just feel horribly anxious until my period comes. I’ve had panic attacks...they are so bad. And obviously it’s starting to mess up my relationship because he feels weird about my  illogical fear of getting pregnant even though we are very careful. In my place, would you choose to stop having sex? Or would you look for some kind of professional help?

Answer

Girl let the shit you were told go and enjoy yourself! Counselling can help you get past what youve been told to believe for so many years. Dont stop having sex just because someone tells you its "wrong". If you 2 are in a commited relationship there is nothing wrong with making love

Answer

I feel ya. I'm catholic and my mother is not a person to talk to about sex. She will openly tell people she married my father at 19 so she could have sex. But that was more because my grandfather was high up in the military and she said she was scared silly to have to tell him if she might be pregnant. 😂 
I felt so dirty when my boyfriend and I first lived together. It became such an issue about him having to propose so I wasn't living with my boyfriend. But reality in our situation was we didn't really have any other living options so I learned to be ok with it. As far as birth control... I actually sat and discussed this with a mentor from the church while my husband and I were engaged and going through our marriage classes and for me, I had a tough choice to make. I took birth control to control my PCOS, and my excessive bleeding. I bleed 13 to 20 days a month and rupture cysts, etc without it. I know the church frowns upon it, but I can't function monthly without it unfortunately. I felt like my hands were a little tied. My husband and I also acknowledged that if a pregnancy should happen we would be in it together because we made that choice. 
We all have personal choices to make and when we were raised one way and are active in our religion it becomes tough. I would suggest finding someone to talk to about your feelings. Whether that be a church mentor, confession or therapy. Whatever you feel would help.

Answer

It is important not to push yourself into sex if you’re not ready. Though I am happy that you understand you are in no way a bad person for having sex. If you feel you need some sort of therapy to work through these emotions I highly encourage it because it really can be helpful. Is there any way you can secretly get on birth control so you don’t have to worry so much about getting pregnant? When I was 16 and started having sex with my long term boyfriend I went to the health clinic in my town and was able to get on free birth control without my parents ever knowing.

Answer

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs, but if they force it down your throat, it’s sure to have an impact. If you personally don’t see anything wrong with premarital sex, then sex on! The guilt comes from what your mom would think. Not from the act itself. Talk to a counselor if you need to, but know that you aren’t going crazy. It was engrained into you since you were young.

Answer

Youll feel guilty the first couple times i did too because my mom was like that too and also she kept telling me how if i gave up my virginity no one else would take me serious or want to be with me blah blah but you have to take in consideration also that just bc your parents think something its because in their time thats how it was. There is no need to feel guilty especially if its with the person you feel comfortable with and enjoy it with !

Answer

Hmm. Remember everyone is human and makes their own choices and lives with the consequences. I'm Catholic and have never been married but have 2 amazing children and trying for a third. My mom got over it eventually. I don't know, therapy may help you

Do I need psychological help?

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