:/ just discovered my husband is...

****Update**** I’m going to talk to him tonight and tell him that the drugs have to stop. I know I’ve sent mixed signals by smoking with him in the past, and that’s on me. I honestly felt like in mind, if I joined him, then I’d convince myself it wasn’t so bad. I was lying to myself. I’m going to tell him that I love him and will stand by him through recovery, but if he refuses help or to stop using, then we’re leaving. I love him SO much, but my daughter is my priority and my responsibility. I’m going to tell him that I plan on randomly giving him drug tests, especially after guy nights. If he refuses to take one or fails it, then we immediately will start marriage counseling and discuss rehab options. I understand that if he is an addict, he can’t just quit, but if he isn’t willing to get help, we’ll then I have to think of my daughter and no one else.

I tried posting last night for some support and insight. I have no one else to talk about this with and I’m feeling so overwhelmed.

My husband and I are happily married with a 10 month old baby. He really is an amazing husband and father. He also is so hardworking and thrives at his job —BUT, I recently discovered drugs are an issue for him.

I’ll be honest, we’ve smoked weed before together. I never really saw it as a big deal and it was only once in a while. When I got pregnant, it was done. Not in the house, not ever.

Recently, he started bringing weed around again. He uses it for pain management bc he feels pills are worse and more addictive, and I kinda agree. However, he has been smoking like everyday and I’m not ok with that. For some time, I’ve been wondering if he used harder drugs too. Whenever he would go out with the boys he would come home soooooo messed up, but more than just drunk. Not too long ago I found out he has been doing Molly. Idk if he does other drugs too, but I’m thinking he might.

He really wanted our kids to be close in age, so we’ve been TTC. I told him weed was not helping, and so we promised to stop. Well, tonight, I saw a text come through his phone that he could come pick up his weed. I am soooo hurt that he would lie to me and do something that goes against us TTC and hurts our family. I also suspect he did Molly last night when he was out with the boys.

When I try to talk to him about it he gets angry and short with me saying he doesn’t have a problem and that’s it’s once in a blue moon. Or he will say it was bc he was drunk and wasn’t thinking (which is no excuse at all)

I love him so much, and the drugs have never interfered with his work ethic or love for me and our baby.

I don’t know what to do...