Quick backstory: my boyfriend and I have been dating for just over a year and a half. I’m very insecure and even tho it’s bad, I get jealous easily and I get jealous of his ex girlfriends.

So two sundays ago I was helping him clean and organize his room since he had just moved into a new house. I decided to clear out his dresser (which had been in storage for a year). In the top drawer I found the package to a vibrator and lube. He told me it was from his ex (which I believe) and that he never used it (which I don’t believe). The minute I showed any sign that I was upset about it, he acted like I was the bad guy and that I was being over dramatic

But I was still very upset about it and over a week later I still am. He has never shown any interest in me wearing lingerie, let alone involving toys. It’s something I’ve brought up before that he’s shut down. In the 19 months we’ve been together I can count the amount of times he’s fingered me or gone down on me on one hand, and every time I’ve begged him to do it. It makes me feel like garbage that he would be involved in something like that with his ex girlfriend. I know the past is the past but I’m so hurt, I feel like I’m more gross than she was and somethings wrong with me.

Not only that, I am also hurt that I wasn’t even allowed to be upset about it. That’s a major thing to find and he acted as though I’m crazy for even showing I was not happy about it.

Now I’m stuck. I have been in a bad mood and have been getting upset with his actions quicker the last week and have been distancing myself from him. I want to tell him why I’m being this way, but I feel like it’s too late now. I also am scared of how he’s going to react. I feel as though it’s going to be turned into me or he’s going to call me melodramatic. Please help me. I feel like I need to explain this all to him but I’m not sure it’s the right choice. What do you think?