How to move forward in relationship?

After 2 years of trying to conceive I've wound myself up thinking my husband and I aren't meant to be together. I literally feel sick writing this.

I love him, but not sure how I feel if he wasn't actually here.

I don't want to NEED him, I'm pretty independent, I want to WANT him.

And I do, but I'm not sure if that's, just because?

How do I get past this, should I suggest a break? Or try talking it through with him?

I try to be positive but now I've had those thoughts it keeps pulling me back.