My husband makes enough money to carry the household but is horrible at managing finances (he’s a veteran, he gets disability pay and paid while he is in barber school, totaling about $3800 a month). He goes in at 9 and is off by 3 and many of his classmates also work jobs to support their families because they do not have VA benefits. He comes home from school and sits on the couch, watches tv, smokes marijuana and basically just chills until it’s 10/11pm and bed time. Well barber school ends about March. I’m currently 8 months pregnant and our baby will be about 3 months then and I said I will got to work after three months because that is also when my spring semester of college begins but I would also like some type of routine and breastfeeding schedule and I’m hoping by 3 months I’ll have some type of system but I know that’s also a BIG hope. When I told him this he said you don’t need three months, two should be fine. I was moved to tears because this pregnancy has been so hard, high risk and also full of scares, so imagining going back two months after he’s born was devastating considering he has always said before that I could just stay home and go to school (before his spending habits began to spiral). I didn’t continue the conversation with him because my feelings were hurt and as he saw me crying he said what’s the matter and I expressed my sadness and anger and he said “Your lucky I don’t make you go to work two weeks after he’s born, because I could enforce that!”.... I know a lot of you women go back to work and love working but TWO WEEKS!?!? I imagined you’re not even healed yet, let alone got through the hardest parts of breastfeeding.

A little background I could say is that he’s always been controlling with finances, never has let me have a say in how it’s spent or where it’s going unless I too am working or “contributing” (as he says), and has made the statement about how it’s his money and he doesn’t have to tell me where it’s going multiple times within this pregnancy when I questioned him because we had nothing for the baby yet.

(Also I have not been able to work this pregnancy because of my high risk situation and also bed rest, but have managed to keep up with the house despite doctors orders, so it’s not like I’m just this lazy leech I contribute the best I can)

I just want to know some advice in handling this, how you might feel if you were in this situation and also if two weeks is even sensible.