I have always had anxiety but after giving birth, I've had sooo many anxieties about my baby and her health/safety.

Lately I've been fixated on one exposure in particular and I feel like it's all my fault and I've somehow "damaged" her health. I've spent today (and other random days) crying nonstop about this and researching the exposure...thought maybe I'd find something to make me feel better about it.

I'm not feeling happy and I can't give my baby or husband my best...all I'm putting out is misery/anxiety/sadness which isn't healthy for any of us. I want to look at my baby and feel happy all the time but the truth is that I oftentimes fake a smile and all I want to do is cry. When I look at her, I just feel so sad about making a poor decision that may have harmed her in some way.

Does this sound like PPD, or just really bad anxiety? Every day isn't like this, but I have had several of these days. Today feels extra low.... ☹️ Last night though, my husband and I were lying in bed joking around and laughing and I actually did feel happy, so I don't know.