So I'm a first time mum, I'm 18 and I'm a little unsure about my mental state. Since my son has been born (5 month old) I've been down. I had a traumatic birth, well after he was born things went wrong for me. I had the hour of bonding with him but then I was taken away for surgery and didn't see him nor my partner until 5:30pm that day and he was born in the morning.

Anyways since his birth, at first I just thought I had baby blues but after a few days I felt worse. At the time then I was on blood pressure medication which made me a little nutty where I wasn't myself at all. After I was taken off of them, I have been really sad, I just feel like crying a lot but nothing comes out, I don't like to go out, I will only see certain people like my mother, sister in law & best friend. I sometimes have a urge to harm myself, NOT my son. I do talk to my partner and he's very supportive but my emotions just won't go away and this isn't like me. I also get really anxious to a point where I will hide away from everyone or go for a shower to be alone.

Today, I spoke with my sister in law and she recommended we see a doctor, I'm scared to do this as I feel ashamed and judged for feeling this way, but I also want to help. I'm just unsure if this is anything and if it is, I'm unsure if it's PPD/PPA or just depression and anxiety..??

Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated.