Depressed today...

My grandpa passed away yesterday morning, and today my cousins wife's water broke and it's making me depressed and jealous. I'm soooooo excited for them it just hurts that it hasn't happened for my husband and i yet after 9 months of ttc. I've been relaxed this month, havent been stressing over it, I'm not a symptom spotting I'm just going with it and I hope it works this time but who knows. Baby dust to all