I just need to rant.

My fiancé and my dad have a business together. They use MY FUCKING CAR every single day. So I’m left struggling to get to and from class and work every day. I also struggle with severe depression and anxiety. So of course that makes everything worse. My depression comes in cycles, sometimes I’m okay, and sometimes I’m really really depressed. Right now is the low part of my cycle. And today is the 8 year anniversary of my grandmas death (and I know I should have moved on by now but I still cry every single time I think about her. I’m still heart broken and devastated) so it’s just a bad day to start.

My fiancé was supposed to pick me up from class but was still at work (mind you, they’re in between jobs and went an hour and a half away to do a walk through at 10 am this morning and my class let out at 4:30.) they should have been long done but since they weren’t, I had to get a ride. I called him when I got him (like he asked me to) and he was at the guys house that they did the bid for. He was being really secretive and mumbling like he didn’t want anyone to hear him talking, so of course I was pissed because I was trying to figure out when he would be home and I couldn’t hear a word he was saying. And he got mad and hung up on me! So given my current mental state (and he knows all about it) it upset me a lot. I called back and he answered just to yell at me and hang up again. Then he quit answering. I’m a pretty understanding person. He could’ve just said “this isn’t a good time, let me call you back” and I would’ve been fine with that. But he didn’t. And now he’s saying that he hung up because I was “being crazy” and “accusing him of things” ???? I never once accused him of anything. I asked why he was mumbling, but I didn’t make a single accusation. He hung up on me again. I’ve never cried so hard and so long. So I still don’t know why he isn’t on his way home from work, I don’t know what he’s doing but I won’t fucking call back because I’m done talking to him.

Oh also, I got a ride home from class but we NEED to go to the grocery store but I can’t without a car and my 1 year old son hasn’t eaten since breakfast because we’re clear out of food BECAUSE HE HAS MY FUCKING CAR ALL HOURS OF EVERYDAY. It’s currently 6:30 pm and my son has only snacked since 11 am (he slept in).

But I’m “selfish” and “crazy” for wanting to know when he’ll be home and why he wasn’t home when he said he would be.

I wanted to edit and add that, though my son has only snacked since breakfast, it’s all nutritional snacks. Fruits and veggies, whole grains etc. I know it doesn’t necessarily make it okay, but he’s healthy snacking. I just don’t have food for a whole mean. And I live in the country so no one will deliver here, I’m about a 25 minutes drive from the nearest grocery store