I need help and motivation :( from pumping to BF

As of today my baby is 2 weeks old. He was born early at 36+5. When he was born he had some fluid in his lungs and have to be flown to a larger hospital about a three hour drive away. Once we were there he spent 3 nights in NICU, and 2 more nights under UV light treatment for his bad jaundice. He was being bottle fed from the beginning because he refused to latch due to being early and the jaundice making him so sleepy all the time. Now we’ve been home for a week and I’m trying to get back to breastfeeding. I’ve been trying to breast feed and then supplementing with a bottle then pumping to maintain supply. He latches now but not great and gets tired quickly and we are still topping up and pumping. I feel as every day goes by I get more and more tired of this process and just wish so much he would get full off my breast and we could just breast feed. Supply is also not the issue. I am losing motivation and will break down and cry all the time. I also feel like a horrible mother because i am starting to dread feeding time. I wish so badly to be able to just breast feed but feel like I’m so close to giving up and doing formula which breaks my heart. I need tips and inspiration. Has anyone else been through this?