Encouraging words 🤷🏽‍♀️ advice 🤷🏽‍♀️ experiences?!?

I’m jade I’m 24 years old. I graduated college in 2016, went right to nursing school the following fall failed out because i wasn’t disciplined enough for nursing school. (Going back) in March 2017 tragedy hit my family HARD AS HELL my 19 year old sister was killed in a drive by shooting (wrong place wrong time)

My sister 😇❤️. Since then I’ve changed. I’m not the same person. I’ve become more reserved. I’ve become lost. I’ve become stuck, complacent. I dont have energy to put forth energy to do anything. I’ve had a pretty rough life as far as having to grow up young because of domestic violence and having to be exposed to things 4,5 & 6 year olds shouldn’t have to see. I’ll go into detail in a later post. But over the past year I’ve become depressed, like i can usually control my emotions and pull myself out of any funk I’m going through but this time i can’t. Everything I’ve ever felt, or had to deal with in life is all surfacing and i don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know how to function through it. Nothing matters at all. I just sleep, or lay around. Texting is tiring, answering the phone is tiring, talking is tiring, living is tiring( but i don’t wanna die). I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of putting people first and forgetting about myself. I’m tired of worrying about how people will feel if i do this or if i do that. I’m tired of not being happy. I want my smile i be pure, and people to see the genuineness behind it. I’m tired of being fake happy. I’m tired of having fake fun. I’m tired of fake being strong. I wanna care, i wanna have a reason i just can’t find it anymore. I don’t know where to start or how to start. I’ve never felt SOOOO LOW IN MY LIFE. i don’t wanna sound like a baby or that I’m wining but it’s how I’m feeling and I’m feeling at an all time low.

If you’ve read this far thank you for listening. I’m open to personal messages and open and honest opinion and advice. Please don’t comment if your going to be rude and or disrespectful.

Jade