Please, please read this.

Hi. I am incredibly depressed. Im not gonna sit here and explain my whole story, but instead give a quick summary. First of all, I lost my virginity to someone who said i’m too lose... so now i don’t feel like a woman that’s capable of pleasing a guy. So there’s that. I never had sex before so i guess i was just born lose... idk if that’s possible. maybe he had a small dick but it looked average. secondly, i got surgery on my face. it was cosmetic. yes it’s my fault. but the results have me looking like an alien. i look horrendous. i cant look in the mirror, i cant go out. im scared to get it fixed cuz what if it makes it worse? so that’s second. so now on top of feeling like i can’t pleasure someone, i feel like i look not like a human. thirdly, my anxiety is through the roof. i cant even function properly. i feel so ugly and all i want to feel is beautiful. ik beauty comes from within, but what if my within is ugly too? im cold and push people away bc im so insecure, it’s like this ongoing spiral that i can never get out of. im at rock bottom, the only thing i do is day dream all day to escape my own head instead of crying cuz wtf is crying gonna change? i’ve talked to my mom who is an angel and is trying to help the best she could. but i truly am so depressed. i don’t feel worthy to be breathing. please help me.