Distance, Commitment, and Confusion.😖😖😖

I’m 14 and I started dating my first boyfriend three weeks ago. He just started university and is four years my senior and won’t be 18 till late December. But I have commitment issues which leads to problems keeping relationships, romantic or otherwise, and he’s in a dormitory over an hour away. And me, being horrible, has sort of been avoiding talking to him. I also have not told my parents, I don’t really know why though, they themselves are five years apart. Plus the Quasiromantic mess that I am is having trouble reading the signals from one of my guy friends who’s asked to hang out sometime while we were walking to our lockers alone. I’m so confused, guilty, anxious, and horrified with myself. What do I do????