How is this even possible? I hate him, I miss him, I am disgusted by him, I wish he could hug me and comfort me. I am in shock. I dont know what to feel.

He told me to kill myself. I have attempted suicide a few times before but this was the last straw.

He cheated on me with 8 women..he solicited a prostitute..he was on tinder for half of our two year relationship..he’d reach out to ex’s and people he had a thing with. All within the last year of us dating.

He manipulated me so much, I felt I was going crazy, I thought I was crazy and he was taking care of me. Who could love someone who’s mentally ill? He’d tell me I’m hearing voices or say that something didn’t happen when it just did.

I don’t know what to do with myself. He’s a pig. I hate him. How could I have been so blind? So stupid? I am in debt and dropped out of college because I failed, all due to him. He’d manipulate me into skipping school so I can comfort him and please his needs or he’d break up with me.

I hated myself so much I tried to kill myself a few times. I ended in the hospital and psych ward too. But I realize the one I hate is him. A year of abuse...how can I stop loving him?