Losing my religion

***trigger*****

I was about 7 or 8 I remember being in my grandmas house sleeping with my cousin. My aunt and uncle (brother and sister) lived with my grandma. My uncle would go into the room at night while everyone was sleeping (my aunt would be on the bed next to us on the floor) and he would pull down my pants and rub himself on my bottom. I was awake told him no then he told me to open my mouth I did not. I remember after multiple times both me and my cousin telling our moms.. they took us to pray... like wtf am I supposed to think with that, they said not to tell our dads (mine lived with me my cousins didn’t) because they would hurt uncle really bad. Fast forward me and my 2 older sister sharing a room my mom let’s him spend the night I remover having to sleep with a wood pushed again our door and a lock when he would spend the night like it was a normal thing.. I love my mom I do I just didn’t understand why she forgave him. I’m sure the same things happened to my sisters but we never spoke about it. I love stares away from home (military) but when I do and he’s there I just get this cringe in my throat and he tries to hug me. I still haven’t to this day told my father. A lot has happened in this past year ( 2 brothers committed suicide) and made me start thinking about my past a lot and I just have so much anxiety. I never used to think of my past and it helped me but now I just don’t know what to do. I don’t believe in god why would nothing happen.. why were we just told to pray at such a young age for nothing to happen.