My mom and I?

Sorry the post is so long...🤷‍♀️

So... I don't really talk much about my personal life ever to anyone but I know most people here will never know me, but with my mom idk what to do, I've tried to have a mother daughter relationship for years with her but it's never gone great, she was in a really bad relationship for years with a man that would beat my little brother and that sexually abused me (I was 12), I feel she blames me for the move and the divorce with him. And maybe that's why she doesn't really have a bond with me, she has a couple of mental disabilities and I've helped her raise my three little brothers for years ever since I was tiny little cause she's not the kind of parent that was ever home (she had me at 16) and I plan on moving out soon this is my last year in high school and I'll be 18 next month and I've tried to fix our bond so that I could visit and we could live happier, I know things are gonna be really rough once I leave since my younger 3 brothers aren't the most responsible bunch. The 15 year old kinda hates me and blames a lot on me (we fight the most) he doesn't get up for school I've gotta do that for him, and he's on video games day and night, the 7 year old doesn't do much but he gets good grades and he's a smart kid but he also does lots of video game stuff, and then there's the 2 year old but, come on he's 2 so he's just there and looks cute and I try to teach him manners and to clean after himself the best I can. And really idk what to do with all of this cause soon I'll be going to college and trying to live a life of my own cause my whole life so far I've been trying to take care of those around me and not taken much time to take care of myself, so it should be really new, but I really want to know if anyone has advice to help me out with what's ahead of me and maybe how I could fix my relationships cause what I do doesn't work and I've tried so hard to help and make everyone happy but there's not much more I can do... And ya know it's nice to finally tell someone about this other than my two closest friends it gets tough trying to get advice from people your age... Sorry to bother you all with my venting...