I am 34 years old single mother of 2 kids I’ve already gave my oldest to my ex husband to divorce him plus him not following parent plan, been three years I haven’t dated no sex too, I’ve been used to being controlled by Everyone especially my mom even though she says she is not cannot afford a place of our own yet California is expensive (we live with her), I am sick and tired of it i wish I can control my own life, I wish so badly that I didn’t turn out this way. I wish I wasn’t abused by my father as a kid, I wish I wasn’t bullied in middle school, I wish my ex husband and ex boyfriend didn’t abused me verbally and domestically, been threatened plenty of times by people I used to be my friends and I fully trusted them but got stabbed in the back, I wish I didn’t have mental health issues, I wish I never had PTSD too, I wish I had my life together I was smarter, i wish I can show everyone I am a good mom and daughter, I wish I wasn’t going through toughest times in my life, being invisible( talking to myself) I wish someone can tell me everything will be fine we all make mistakes and learn from them along the way, I wish my friends would call me for a change instead of being pushed away, at time my brain says give up, toss in towel no one will ever notice it.. But my heart say wait patiently you’ll see things will change love will find you never give up on Hope and dreams it’s hard but accept it because it’s life shit happens. I am sorry for posting this but I’m don’t know who else to talk to what’s been weighed down on my shoulders for so many years, usually I don’t know who to turn to. My friends quit being my friends my mom is being less communicative with me hiding behind her bedroom door because I feel like I am such a failure to everyone trying to make everyone happy instead of me...