Dead end relationship?

Question

By bf and I have been on and off for a year. We have had one continuous issue for the whole time because of what I did. (I slept with a guy after my first date with my bf. But before I started properly dating him) and my bf has an issue with trusting me and feeling secure in our relationship. Despite me trying my best. He regularly reminds me he doesn't trust me and is scared to have a future with me. Because he resents me for hurting him.
I have changed a lot over the last year with him.  I really didn't see much in myself and didn't see a real future. Which is why I was so careless about guys in my life. But my bf has changed that. For the first time I really want a future. With children and a house ect.
But the problem is he doesn't really want a future with me in the same level of certainty. Like Im ready to fully commit to being with him for the rest of my life. And work towards building our future. But for him despite how much we love eachother and how we'll our relationship is going. His buried trust issues and hate makes him hate our relationship. I really just want to settle down into a relationship. 
Do you think he will ever get over it and want to be with me? Am I just wasting my time? Is it too much to ask to soon? Did I ruin everything by being so careless at the beginning?

Answer

Girl. I'm sorry. I only read the first paragraph and that's all I need to hear to say you are wasting your time in this relationship.  You're supposed to be in the honeymoon phase and you're breaking up repeatedly? Why????
Why are you trying to force this already failed relationship? The entire point of dating is to have  FUN and determine compatibility. You have obviously determined you're not compatible with each other..?  Why are you forcing a brand new relationship that obviously isn't fun or compatible? 
Let it go. Find a guy you're better suited for. Move on.

Answer

Omg he needs to stop acting like a snatch tbh when I first started "dating"  (we were actually fwb) my now husband I was seeing another guy and he knew it. I'm sure he was messing around too who cares as long as yall weren't official the past is the past. You can't have a future if you can't move on from the past it just wont be healthy .

Answer

Why does it matter.. when I first started to see my now fiancé a big part of the reason I realized how into him I was, was because every time I spent time with this other guy I couldn’t wait for him to leave, but always looked forward to spending time with my fiancé.. you weren’t in a committed monogamous relationship.. sounds to me like he just uses it to hold over your head

Answer

Since you both weren’t in an agreed monogamous relationship, it’s seems sort of redundant to be upset. 
Sounds like he might be holding on to resentment for other reasons. Insecurity of himself, commitment, or of you being the right one.
Talk to him to see if he will ever look past it and if not, you may want to consider moving on.

Answer

Omg who cares if u slept with someone, u were single! If he’s gonna still be carrying on a yr later u can guarantee he will carry on as long as you’re together

Answer

He thinks that I should have had a monogamous out look on seeing people in general. I should never have gone on a date with him at all while still messing around with this other guy. Like I should have waited and only had one guy at a time.
He sees it as that first date being when we started dating

Answer

It’s been a long time since you slept with that guy; you were also single at the time so I really think he needs to get over himself.

Answer

It sounds to me like he just needs something to blame it on. There is no reason he should be upset with you about that especially being a year later.

Dead end relationship?

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