Dreams after miscarriage

I'm still having a hard time sleeping. When I do sleep, the dreams are ALL sad. Almost all of them involve the miscarriage.

I had one dream where I was staring at baby stuff I bought. Some random lady walked into my apartment and saw it. She wanted to throw a baby shower. I couldn't get the words out of my mouth to tell her I miscarried.

Another one that stuck with me was me moving to the fifth floor of a swanky apartment complex. The office manager told me a tornado was coming and to get to the storm shelter. I refused and stood on the balcony. I wanted to be blown away because I was empty after losing the baby. I stood on the balcony and watched a tornado from. By the time the tornado got to me, it turned into rain. It looked like someone was just playing with a water hose. I was disappointed.

My most recent dream involved me having a miscarriage. A few months passed and I randomly gave birth to a tiny premature baby boy. I had no idea I was pregnant with twins originally. The hospital let me take him home even though he was premature. I wore a baby sling with no shirt underneath I just wanted to be as close as possible to my baby as I could. If I thought he was cold I put a hoodie on and still kept him in the sling. I couldn't stop sniffing the top of his head.

I almost feel like I'm not having a hard time sleeping. I think I'm fighting it to avoid dreaming.