Emotional Abuse?

I’ve posted a lot about my fiancé in here, but this one will be more straight forward than the rest. I want to know what constitutes as emotional abuse.

He calls me names like a “dick” or an “asshole”, even though I’ve repeatedly asked him not to.

If he does something that bothers me and I tell him, he immediately gets mad and turns it around on me. For example, the other day he was mumbling shit under his breath & I didn’t hear what he said but I heard him say “lazy” and “worthless” so I thought he was talking about me. I waited a little bit to let him cool off before saying anything and I said “earlier in the kitchen I heard what you said about me and it hurts my feelings when you do that” and he got pissed, admitted he was talking about me, and then said “you always find something wrong. I’m never good enough for you” but I just want him to talk to me instead of about me, I don’t understand why that’s too much to ask.

And on the phone a few minutes ago he was complaining about my dad and brother, he said “I guess lazy, worthless, shitty people just run in the family” and I said “oh thanks” and laughed because I thought when he said that, he wasn’t clumping me in with them so I was joking. He said “well, babe, if the shoe fits. And it fits you as much as them” I was shocked but idk why because this isn’t unusual.

We also have talked about therapy together, and I struggle with depression and anxiety. He told me that if I didn’t have these problems, we wouldn’t have any problems and that before we go to therapy together, I need to go and fix myself first.

These are just the few examples that have happened this week. If I tried to list off everything, this post would never end.

Is it emotional abuse? Or is he just mean?

** I know I’m going to get the “why” question a lot. So we’ve been together 3 years, we have a 1 year old son & this has only become a consistent problem within the last 10 months or so. We had small issues before but I ignored them. Leaving isn’t the easiest option and not something I take lightly **