Long story short.

I was getting to know this guy on a serious level, meaning both stating wanting to be in a serious relationship, spent all our time together, introduced him to family, both paid for a long haul holiday to the Caribbean etc.

5 months in I discovered a positive pregnancy test which neither of us were thrilled. He said abortion, right of the bat whereas I was more reluctant.

As time goes on he’s pressurising me for an abortion saying he’s not ready for a child, he wants to get a mortgage (as you can imagine living costs in London is very expensive) wants to do this properly where he’s married and not labelled a “baby daddy”

He also argues pro abortion as we don’t know each other well, “this is the right thing” and “let’s do it the proper way, at least let’s get a house, then marriage” etc.

I’m 27 and he’s turning 26 in less than 2 months so as you can imagine I feel like shit for even being in such a situation in the first place.

I told him no to an abortion as I don’t want to live with the regret of having one and to rather raise a child single handedly without his help which he furiously disagreed to as he wants to be a hands on father when he’s ready to be one.

Skip forward to present day I told him I would get an abortion as we’d argue constantly which resulted in me temporarily blocking him. At this rate he is nothing but stress, anxiety, and headaches I could do without.

So now he thinks everything is good because I’ve agreed to have an abortion and last night I went over to his to have sex and without regard I looked through his phone.

He has been messaging loads of females in the way as you’d imagine a dog would. Judging from the conversations, I’m assuming he has slept with at least 1 (which annoys me regarding my health risk).

I’m not sure if I want to go through with an abortion but with my stance I’ve always seen marriages in a negative light due to my own failed experiences and also other people’s situations. I always said I’d rather be a mother than get married in a heartbeat.

However in this situation I don’t like this guy at all. I don’t like liars and manipulators. I would love to be a mother but not today where I have no respect for the father, I don’t have respect to even involve him in appointments. For instance I have an upcoming dating scan next week, which he insists on coming (which I reckon it’s for him to ensure I’m on the road to an abortion).

I am currently scrambling for a permanent job as I imagine with the job I’ll be more than okay to raise a child by myself, if that’s the course I take.

I’m anxious, disappointed in myself and feel like an embarrassment as I’m someone others look up to with high regard yet I’m in this position which i could of managed differently. I actually want to cry and sleep forever but that’s a no-go.

I’m not sure who to speak regarding abortions or being a single parent so i figured I’ll put this out there for some advice.

Apologies for my ramblings.

Thank you again in advance x

Abortion Procedure

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