So many feelings - Long post!

I need a safe space to vent ... my husband and I have 2 kids, and got pregnant with no issue (or even trying). But for the last 2 years we’ve been trying - within reason. He’s got a crazy job that he travels a ton making things challenging. Anyways. I never thought I’d be where I am. I have tested dozens of times. Almost every month. It’s so disheartening. To the point where I’m slowly convincing myself I don’t need a 3rd baby and our family is perfect and not to be greedy. But now my sister just tells me she’s pregnant. She wasn’t trying at all. I’m SO HAPPY for her. Genuinely she’s my best friend. But I’m also so sad at my own experience or lack thereof. Ugh. I just have so many feelings and don’t really feel comfortable getting them out there anywhere else. Thanks for reading if you made is this far 🤣😭🤦🏼‍♀️