“Mom body” at 22 :(

Alright, so this is all so superficial, and I know appearance and body image are two different concepts, but this sucks. I gained 50 pounds with my daughter and I was really counting on breast feeding to help lose the weight, but I never started to produce milk after having her and now my weight loss has flatlined. 30 pounds is a lot to lose! I went from a 5’9 hottie in heels to this tired, pjs in the afternoon, baby on the hip woman I don’t even recognize. It took a long time to love myself then and I feel so insecure and inadequate when i take my clothes off now. And it’s not just the weight. The stretch marks? The flap of skin that hangs over? My pancake boobs and dark nipples? This is not my body. And I feel so bad for my hubby. This was his body too in a way, and he’s still slim and glorious and completely unchanged for me! He has to be with this mess I am now. I can’t be with him intimately and not tear up when I see myself. How am I going to teach my daughter to live her body, whatever shape or size she is if I can’t do it for myself? I love her so much and I want to be strong and know it doesn’t matter. I want to be where I was before. I want this to be easier. Why does no one talk about this?