breakups HELP!!!

My boyfriend and i have been together for nearly 2 years ( not counting the breakups) nearly two months ago he broke up with me with no real explanation but a month later we got back together. Although i am now having doubts about the relationship, i love him and i always will i just don’t think i’m in love with him? I hold resentment towards him knowing that he did that and he could probably do it again. Although i don’t want to not be his friend, but i know if i break up with him that’ll be the case, i want him in my life and i DONT want him to be with anyone else and that’s selfish.

I’m not the best girlfriend i get angry at everything and i speak to him rudely and get annoyed easily (not all the time) and i try not to, i really do, we spend nearly everyday together and i absolutely love it i love being with him, but i think i just want to go back to being friends? (we were friends for 5 years before dating)

i really don’t know what to do, it’s my first relationship, his second, although his first was very rough and he got cheated on multiple times, i don’t want him to think that that’s why i’m breaking up with him (if i do).

Sorry for the long paragraph i just really need help!!