If anyone can give me advice that be great. Over the summer I lost my virginity after work to this guy that supposedly liked me but then said he wasn’t ready for another relationship. That same day he fucked me which I was not expecting at all. At first it was just making out which I was fine with and then he started fingering me (something I never felt before) and I liked it so I didnt say anything. But I said but we’re not fucking cause we don’t have a condom and someone could find us. And then he was like okok. And then more into it he was like please just the tip just for a sec and then I’ll stop and I said no. A few moments later he asked if he can just rub his penis against me. And I said but don’t go in. So he did that for a bit (didnt really feel much) but then it really happened so fast. And I was saying how it was hurting and to relax for a bit but he said it’s your first time of course it’s going to hurt. And then it was done so quick. Weeks and months after that I didnt really think about it much cause I was just assuming whatever it was a hookup. But I’ve been looking on the internet about it and realized this really was rape and I had a bit of a panic attack about it. But now I’ve been with someone who genuinely cares about me and loves me and we’ve talked about so many things together in the future and we have such a great bond. And I kinda lied that I just went to second base with this coworker. I was too scared to tell him but I hate the feeling that I lied to him. But one day I should tell him before I get intimate with him just I’m afraid of his reaction. Can anyone help me please !!!