I just dont know!!!

So here I am am 2:08 am in a hot bath laying down cause in in pain... 8DPO and the faintest on lines on a test.... Have no clue if it's a positive or evap and I'm stressed... I hear my son in the other room with his dad and know the others are in bed... I keep wondering why I'm trying again... Then realize I'm missing something.... We are trying one last time for a girl..... Honestly with everything going on I'm feeling broken.... Just need some hope