Pain during sex

I have been with my boyfriend for four years. Up until now, we have been messing around with each other in basically every way except intercourse. We tried to do it last night but experienced problems. I feel lots of pain even if he isn’t really in me. I unconsciously push him away with my legs. He tells me he can feel me pushing so he stops. I don’t know if there is something wrong with my anatomy and should take to a gynecologist about it. I don’t think it’s a mental problem. I find him extremely attractive and have been wanting to do it for a while. It’s not that he is big or anything, he is about average size. Even with an hours worth of foreplay, I feel extreme pain. I should mention that I also refuse to use tampons because of the pain t causes me. Has anyone else have similar problems and find a way around it?