What should I do?

Question

My boyfriend and I live together now and we’ve been together for a year and 3 months now. I moved cities for him, because my small town didnt offer opportunities like where he lives so I’m far from home maybe like 5 hours. I love him dearly and he always shows his love for me.. we have the same career so we get along well. Our sex live is amazing. We are two different people I’m more of the mellow, chill type and he’s more of the “I want to be successful so I’m gonna bust my ass, uptight, stress level high” type of guy. But when we argue.. he calls me stupid and it hurts my feelings and I’ve told him how it makes me feel. I’ve been in abuse relationships and one time he pushed me and it wasn’t until I locked myself in the bathroom and was crying that he came in and tried talking to me and apologized and I told him that it always starts with a push. He pushed me because he was trying to close the door in my face and I grabbed the door and he pushed me away from the door. When he’s angry he gets crazy, and I’m the type to just ignore it and not even react to it.. but then he gets mad because I don’t do anything. When he’s calm I love him.. but when he gets fucking crazy and mad I hate being around him because he starts insulting and always wants to break it off with me and I’m like fine whatever fuck you and then when he cools down he wants to fix it. Is that normal? Should I continue on letting his anger go.. I’m a very chill person so I never get like that, but if he’s insulting me, I just have smart comments or I don’t say anything at all.. what would you do? Any advice?
Update: last night we got into an argument about me going to the bank and forgetting to go in the morning.. so I locked the bathroom door to take a shower and he got upset and he got in and broke my phone.. shattered.. after he had to go do a house call and when I woke up he was sleeping on the floor. I’m hurt because i need my phone for work but i gave him my old Phone for his work and i took it and was able to activate it.. it’s really hard for me to move back home, but I don’t know what to do. This is what he just messaged me.

Answer

I would try and sit down with him and talk about the way he treats you if you haven’t done that already, maybe tell him how you feel when he pushes you away or insults you.

Answer

I had a sorta similar experience and he needed counseling for anger management. It helped a lot, but people who need anger management therapy are nearly impossible to convince that they 1. Need it and 2. To actually go. 
Good luck.

Answer

Leave. You don’t deserve any of that and over time it will only get worse. You are brave enough to leave. You can do it.

Answer

I’m sorry you are going through something like this, I completely understand you I went through exactly the same thing. I tried to talk to him many times and it would be fine for a few days and then it would happen again, it started with insults then a push then he would grab me by the neck he wouldnt do it hard but it was enough to scare me, he would slammed me on the wall and yell on my face he would call me names and he would talk about my family and friends. At first I wouldn’t say anything back I will just walk away or just kept quiet and but that made him worse he would follow me, when he wasn’t mad like this he was totally different but it never changed and sadly I put up with it for too long (8years), he never changed he used to cry after he did things but it stayed the same. I tried to break up with him many times in the last 3 years but there was always something. It’s been a year since I left and he moved away far. That was the best thing I could do, he broke me, i had low self esteem, till this day I don’t talk about this with anyone, I tried to talk to my sister and she couldn’t believe me when I told her somethings because he didn’t seem anything like this. Please don’t let this happen to you! From what you said you invested a lot in this relationship but you don’t deserve to be treated like this. Tried to talk to him and if he doesn’t change I would leave and don’t come back! You don’t deserve any of these!

Answer

My dad is like this and I didn’t have a good experience with him unfortunately... my advice is that maybe you guys can seek a couples therapist. That way you can heal from your past experiences, figure out why he’s like that and change a bit maybe. I didn’t want him to get mad at you for wanting a therapist but it could be for the better. Maybe he’ll change ya know? 
“It maybe be the hard way but it’s the right way” - Dear Evan Hansen. 
Just my suggestion sis. 
I hope everything goes well cuz it seems like he’s a nice guy with a flaw like you.
I’ve said my peace ✌🏻 
-Some random teen.

Answer

sounds unhealthy but since you put so much effort into being with this guy (moving and stuff) maybe try to talk it out first!

Answer

Think about if you can tolerate that behavior the rest of forever? If not, there's your answer. Apologies are one thing...change of behavior is another.

Answer

Leave! That's unhealthy.

What should I do?

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