Visit after birth?

Question

When did / are you guys have the in-laws over after the birth? I feel like they are going to be pushy about this so feel we need to set the boundaries upfront. What’s the best thing to say when it comes to be that time?

Answer

My in-laws (who stress me out) came from out of town the day we got home from the hospital and we’re at our house within 30 minutes of our arrival. I DO NOT recommend this. 
My FIL sat on the couch on his phone so that I had to hide in our bedroom to pump/attempt to breastfeed.
All my MIL wanted to do was hold the baby (and of course she didn’t wash her hands), which led me to locking myself in a closet because I could not stop crying because I missed holding my own baby after 45 minutes (your hormones will make you a nut job). 
My poor husband tried to help by taking them to dinner (because of course they didn’t think about offering to bring us anything), but then I was left home by myself with a newborn.
Lesson Learned: This time around we are not inviting the in laws to visit until we’ve had at least a month or two of time to settle in. Those first few days are precious - do not get guilt tripped into giving up that time to anyone else.

Answer

Set. Boundaries. ASAFP. After my first my in-laws came the morning after we got home from the hospital. At 9 fucking am. With our second, my husband’s sister had her baby 4 weeks early the day after we got home, so MIL was with her. This time, I’m not sure what’s going to happen since I’m due Thanksgiving week and hubs signed up to work overtime 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Answer

I wanted at least a week without them. I don't like my MIL so that was even pushing it. However, my daughter will be a month tomorrow and MIL still has never even asked to come meet her. Shouldn't be too surprised, she completely skipped my son's birthday. (Because of drama with her mom and cousins, might I add.) As for boundaries, that's something you need to come up with, with your SO.  Be up front right off the bat with what you expect. Mine are hands washed before touching baby, no kissing baby, don't come around if you even suspect your sick. If you're posting a picture of my children on your social media it needs to be as private as possible, no hashtags and you need to tag myself and/or husband.

Answer

I explained to my mother-in-law that when we came home, we wanted 24 hours to ourselves and then my parents would be the first visitors. She had so many firsts (first to know we were pregnant, first to feel the baby kick, first to know we were at the hospital to have the baby, etc). I wanted to give my parents at least one first. My mother-in-law had made it very clear she would stay away until after my parents had been. 
My MIL ended up inviting herself over a few hours after we arrived home and gloated about how she was baby's first visitor and the FIRST grandparents to hold her. I was annoyed that she stole that from my parents, but more annoyed that she gave us maybe 4 hours at home before she decided to visit. She did bring food, but it was   less about feeding us and more just an excuse to come by.

Answer

My in laws, with whom I have a very strained relationship, came Day 2 around lunch for a couple of hours. That was it.

Answer

I have four little ones. If we are able to have our fifth and final, I asked my husband to tell them no sooner than two weeks after birth. My in-laws stay at our house, expect us to provide all the food (either ME cooking/cleaning up after or us buying take out), and insult to Injury they take at least two naps a day. 🤦 They have never thought to ask if maybe my husband and I might need one lol

Answer

Ugh. I am currently pregnant with my first however my hubby has a daughter from a previous relationship and she is 4. My MIL is extremely controlling and pushy when it comes to her, I am terrified how she will act when it comes to my son when he is born. After a talk with my hubby we have agreed that there will be absolutely no visitors for the first week baby is home. After that, all visits will have to be scheduled and I will post a very extensive list of boundaries on Facebook for all family and friends who want to come for a visit after baby is born.

Answer

My MIL didn't bother to come see my son until he was 12 days old despite the fact that she was off from work for 10 days. When she did come over, it was completely uninvited and nearly two hours after she said she'd be there. Though she brought him clothes, they were off season and reeked of cigarette smoke. She invited herself over the following weekend as well with my FIL, and brought more oversized, smoky clothes.

Visit after birth?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey