Finally Pregnant! Now What?!

When TTC doesn't go as planned, it becomes all consuming for many people, myself included. Day to day life and long term plans are made to fit around doctor appointments, blood tests, medications (and their side effects!) timed intercourse, and two week waits. What happens when you finally see those two pink lines you have waiting for? I always thought that I would be happy then have morning sickness for a few months get a cute bump then come home with a baby! That how pregnancy works right?

That did happen for me, but I also had lots of other things that I didn't expect. It seemed like I just couldn't get away from all the emotions that go with being a fertility patient. I had finally gotten pregnant, we had been trying for years, so why wasn't everything all better now?

I was happy to be pregnant especially in the beginning of the first couple pregnancies. But after having recurrent miscarriages, the happiness of finding out that I was pregnant got overshadowed by anxiety. After a miscarriage there is no such thing as normal pain, I would notice and try to analyze every single twinge.  I would try not to feel happy "too soon" because I knew how crushing losses were and I was tried to prepare myself for that.

I also would feel guilty about announcing my pregnancy because I knew how it felt to see/hear pregnancy announcements when we were TTC and I didn't know what some of my friends and acquaintances were going through would anyone type "Congratulations!" then need to cry? I felt that shouldn't complain about anything because the fertility treatments had been harder and more uncomfortable than pregnancy so I couldn't possibly say or think anything negative about the pregnancy that I had wanted so bad.

There is no wrong way to feel when those lines show up. What ever you feel is normal and okay. Try to go easy on yourself and practice what ever self care helps you. Decide when you want to share your news and with whom. If you want to immediately shot it from the roof tops or if you want to wait until later in your pregnancy. We told a few people in person, then a few more, and eventually made a post on social media at around 24 weeks.

I felt most comfortable talking about pregnancy and what I was going through in forums for pregnancy after fertility treatments. There were a lot of women who could relate to how I was feeling.

I am wishing all of you a happy healthy 9 months!