So you kind of have to asses the situation before you move forward. My boyfriend suffered an entire childhood of abuse and abandonment, group homes, foster homes, juvie, physical and emotional abuse, and more. This turned into drug and alcohol abuse, crime, recklessness, more trauma, jail time, a slew of relationships where he and his gf used drugs/alcohol and he was cheated on several times. Once he was at his gfs bday party and she drugged him so he’d pass out and she could cheat on him in the next room. He has endured trauma after trauma and let me tell you: it really fucked him up. Despite all of this he is a good person to his core but he has some SERIOUS emotional issues as well as PTSD and paranoia and anxiety and depression. I have my own troubled past; abuse, sexual assault, abandonment, anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, and stuff. So I’m not saying I’m much better than him in the emotion or communication department. We love each other deeply and have been friends forever and loved each other for about three years before we decided to try out a relationship. It’s been HARD. SO SO HARD. I have in some way had to help him figure out how to process his feelings and deal with certain situations. And sometimes it sucked. So much I had considered if it was worth it. But I think he is and I am staying knowing full well what sacrifices I’m making for that. Sometimes he does it kicking and screaming but ultimately he puts in the work to be better. That’s what it comes down to. If he really doesn’t want to change or love you right he won’t and you will waste your time. It should be relatively easy to figure out if he’s willing or not and that’s what you have to go off of. I would go to counseling. Read The Five Love Languages too it helps with insight on how people give and receive love differently and the problems it causes of you aren’t attentive to that. If your core values are compatible and there is a desire to make it work he can “learn” how you want to be loved and do it, same for you too. But some guys just don’t know how to break up, but they don’t want to stay, and they won’t do a damn thing to make it work.