I feel like I’m out guys 😢

I’m tired, I have been obsessing, any little thing I feel I’m hoping it’s a sign but I’m starting to think it’s in my head. I don’t want to have to hold a test up to the light or squint at it, I want two solid bright ass lines!!! Right now I am 4 days until AF and I’m exhausted, literally exhausted and I have cramps that feel like AF is coming soon. I want this to be my month but I seriously think I’m out. Why is this hard? It shouldn’t be this hard, you spend how many years trying to avoid pregnancy and when you actually want it to happen it’s complete chaos documenting, and temp checking, and keeping everything on schedule, an making sure you BD at the right times. It’s like trying to get all the stars in the sky all in a straight line! Good Lord!

I’m driving myself to insanity. I went as far as telling a women at the store off 🙄 her baby was crying (probably was cold from not having socks, a blanket, or a hat on while it was 45 degrees out) calling her a brat and a cry baby, this sweet girl didn’t look older than 4 months! I told her she’s a horrible person and that I would do anything to hear a little cry from my own baby. She probably didn’t even plan her precious girl and here I am doing every little thing that’s not working 😡 sorry for the long venting complaining post but my gosh, when is this going to happen for me 😒