I'm in a miserable situation and want to leave but I'm terrified. I need and help but ashamed to ask. I feel like this may be karma and I did this myself and if I keep making bad decisions my kids are gonna suffer and hate me. I honestly think I was never meant to have children bc I'm just not mentally strong enough and I used to be but as time goes on I just feel like a weak nothing. I want to leave my kids father but I have nowhere to go and no job so realistically if I left right now I'm hurting my kids. My dad is only person I have in the state that I live and he has helped me so much and I've done him so wrong and I just don't want to go back begging him for help. My family that lives in Virginia I stopped talking to them and just cut them off and I just cannot go to them for help do I think they would help me yes is it pride that's in the way no I'm ashamed and I feel badd I cut people off that did nothing but love me and then here I am only calling or wanting to reach ogut to them because I need help and that's not right. The one person in life that I had that would always help me no matter what died both of them my mother and my niece, my niece and I r only 4 years apart in she always had her shit together and she always had my back and she's gone to and I just don't know what I'm gonna do. If I leave the kids father everything's gonna end up in court my mental health will be brought into question he would have so much evidence on me and take my kids I'll be lucky to get visits. I've got to be stronger and figure this out.