Possible pregnancy &Torn between options

Hey guys I’m 19 and I was on two different chemotherapies for 4 years straight. I just got off this year and I was looking online to see if the meds affect fertility and it said it does severely (negatively). I was very upset at the possibility of never being able to have a baby. Me and my man of a little over a year have always talked about having a beautiful baby in the future and he even cries when we talk about it because he gets so happy. But anyway last month we stopped using protection for the most part and I knew there was most likely a small chance of pregnancy but was somewhat okay with it for some reason even though we are young. In the last weeks of October up until now I have been nauseous, having cravings, gained weight ( I’m a very skinny lady and I went from 125 to 135 in a week and a half), had tender breast that seem to have grown quite a bit, had headaches, bloating, trouble sleeping, tiredness and in the last few days I’ve been an emotional roller coaster. I took a test the other day and it was negative and I took one today at 6dpo and I thought I saw a VERY faint line. My man saw it too. He got scared because we would have to up our working schedules a lot and really get ready if we were going to have it, or not have it. I was actually happy to see the line. For me surgical abortion is completely off the table as it is for him( I support freedom of choice 100%) but the pill that can be used from 4-9 weeks is an option. I started thinking about what I want to do and if I could get the pill. My man wants to if I’m ok with it and we can get it but I said if we do it I want it to be before the 6 week mark because it will have a heart beat, be able to move an potentially feel pain. I did some research and have been breaking down all day and crying thinking about if I really am pregnant and if it’s past 6-8 weeks when I get the pill off I get it. It just hurts me so bad to think of me making a beautiful baby like I’ve dreamed just to have the first and only thing it ever feels to be pain and death. Like it would be so small but that would still be my baby. My man said if I did not want the pill it “wouldn’t change anything between us” and he’d “work his ass off” for me and that baby❤️ I’m just very torn between options at the moment and it hurts. If anyone has had experience with the 4-9 weeks pill please share it so I can know first hand what to expect if I choose it. Thanks!

EDIT: after many weeks of tears we have decided that even though this isn’t the best time, we can’t get rid of it because this is our baby. Since this post we have fallen very much in love with this baby and are both very excited to have him/her in our lives ! I’m currently 7.5 weeks and have my first scan in a few weeks (I’ll be 10 weeks) 💕