I can’t be here anymore

I just feel like a waste of space. My moms always upset w me and I know I disappoint my parents a lot. I’m not that good at school and I’m worried I won’t have good enough grades to get into college (currently 16). I also feel like a complete asshole. I wish I was nicer to my mom but she’s always mean to me. All my friends r so much smarter then me and Ik u shouldn’t compare yourself to other ppl but its hard not to. I’m nothing compared to them. I’m currently alone crying in my basement. My mom and I got in a stupid argument and she watched me come down here balling my eyes out but does she care? No. I’m literally alone in this world. I self harm. Not a lot and I try not to but some days I cant help it. The only thing making me happy rn is my bf but Ik he deserves better then me. I just don’t wanna be here anymore. I’ve thought a lot about suicide and a few times I’ve wanted to do it but I’m scared. I’m sorry this post is all over the place. Thank u if u read it.