So me and my current bf been together for about 9months and recently got into a big argument that almost ended our relationship. We never got into a big fight before. Only small disagreements that got resolved on the same day very quickly. But we went on break for a week and 2 days (for us we didn’t break up it was like a “mini vacation” away from each other while texting still and Being in a relationship) but I didn’t like it. He told one of his friends and that friend told all his other friends and his brother and spreader from there. Couple of his friends told him to break up with me when my bf didn’t want to cause he still wanted to be with me just needed some space to de-stress. But that one friend he told (let’s name him Bob) really pushes him every second to tell him to break up with me and be single cause it’s better. So when me and my bf got off break his friend wasn’t that happy. I used to be close with Bob when me and my bf were dating and I liked Bob, he was a good friend I really trusted my bf with. But ever since my bf told me that Bob really wanted us to break up, I couldn’t look at him the same (so as his other friends that I liked too) and I trust my bf but I told my bf that I don’t trust Bob anymore and I don’t trust Bob around him. Cause Bob told me in person before the break happen that if my bf does anything that can jeopardize our relationship that he wouldn’t tell me because he “has his back”. And that worries me. Like I trust my bf and he ALWAYS says he has all eyes for me and loves only me but I’m afraid that one day he’ll get really fucked up with drinking and smoking and maybe something might happen and his friend WONT be a friend to stop him. But my bf tells me all the time he knows what he’s doing when he’s really fucked up. The only time he doesn’t is when he is blacked out.

I just feel like my bf doesn’t understand that I do trust him, just not his friends. No matter how I explain to him. He always comes down to “my friends aren’t in our relationship, you should trust me. That what really matters for us. My friends will always be my friends and I want you to forever be my girlfriend and have a future with you. So just trust me and don’t stress or worry. I trust my friends.” And idk it’s hard I’m trying to. It just sucks knowing a “friend” isn’t really a friend if he allows that shit and knows how the significant other feels.

I knew my bf since highschool and he was a huge asshole but I haven’t seen him for 3 years and he’s soooo nice. But he’s too nice and needs to find a middle ground. He understands he can’t be nice and friends with everyone and can’t have a happy ending. But that’s why he keeps those friends and keeps me. Even tho it causes a conflict a bit. I told him he need to stop being too nice. He needs to find that middle ground of his asshole-ness in high school and being nice to know who his real friends are. Cause he holds on to so many people knowing they’re not good for him. He ALWAYS forgives people even when they done the most shitty-est things to him. Idk.

I trust him and try and understand him but I feel like he doesn’t understand my point of view. And he told me he didn’t..