Advice on TTC? am I ready?

I was dating my ex for 3 years, in that time he was horrible to me, a cheat, abusive, controlling. I found myself ready to have a baby but I knew I was with the wrong person. But my head was ready. I’ve been dating my boyfriend now for a year and half and he really wants a child, I have been off contraception since Feb and we’ve been on the same page since August about TTC. I ended up believing that I was pregnant a few weeks ago and then Aunt Flow had arrived early. He’s noticed that I haven’t been speaking about TTC since but it has made me doubt it a little. I’ve ended up feeling like I’m not ready but is that just in my head because I was disappointed? I’m feeling stuck but I know it’s still early.. advice?