So my boyfriend and I have been together for a year now, and I’m currently 33 weeks pregnant with our daughter (she’s the first child for both of us) and I think he’s cheating on me.

I just need second opinions, I can’t talk to my mom about it because she’s not good at hiding emotion and she’ll bring it up to him and I don’t want that. I don’t have any friends to talk to because I got pregnant and all of them moved on with their lives leaving me behind to party and live their life.

I’ll start from the beginning, this may be all over the place, I can’t really pin point when his weird behavior started...

About a month and a half ago he put a lock on his phone, he got the phone in July, never had a lock on it until then. A few days later he was on Instagram and accidentally slid over showing his DM’s, I had my head on his shoulder so he quickly slid right back over to his feed. I didn’t see any names and I didn’t really think anything of it as were both pretty open and honest with each other.

Fast forward to 2 weeks later, about a month ago he had surgery to have plates & screws put into place for his broken arm. I held onto his phone at the hospital while they took him back. We constantly send each other memes so I sent him a few to wake up to and cheer him up, no notifications showed up for the messages I sent him, normally they would. The day after, we were watching Netflix, I glanced over and he was on his Instagram feed, it showed he had an unopened message. He sat up, turned away from me, slid over and glanced at it and then went right back to his feed yet again and then scrolled for a few minutes and laid back down. I got quiet, thinking of all the possible scenarios in my head trying to come up with a logical explanation. I did some digging on his profile to see if he had recently followed any females, he had. A girl that is well known in our area for hanging around a lot of men. He went to get something to eat and came back so I confronted him, he said the ‘message’ was me liking a meme he had sent me, which didn’t make any sense because I hadn’t at all. I went along with it and then confronted him about his notifications being turned off for Instagram, he insisted they were and showed me in his settings that they were on and then showed me his recent messages, no females but it is easily deleted so I went along with it yet again. He then said that he now believed I was cheating on him because I had a ‘guilty conscious’ and was trying to pin it on him. I said “no but the way you’ve been acting recently has led me to believe you’re behind suspicious and I wanted to confront you instead of going crazy and accusing you of cheating on me” he acted weird for the rest of the night.

Since then he has gotten more and more distant, he has accused me of cheating on him, leaving him, talking to and entertaining other men.

This past weekend is when I really got skeptical.

My baby shower was Sunday, so Saturday night while I was at my moms helping set up, he decided to go out with a friend. He went to his friends Work and had a couple beers and ate, then he claims he and this friend went to his apartment, and then 2-3 bars. We share our locations on our phone so I was checking up on him through the night as he stopped replying multiple times for long periods of time. At first his story made sense, I saw that he was in fact at his friends work, and then it starts to get a little weird for me. At some point he ended up at the very back of the parking lot of a shopping center for close to an hour, not replying and then went to another restaurant for about 5 minutes and then came home. When he came home his beanie smelled like a perfume I’d never smelled before and he had a long brown hair on it. My hair is blonde. He kept bringing up how he had such a great time with his friend and how he met his roommates for the first time. His best friend once told me you can tell he’s lying when he goes into detail and continues on the story even after the conversation is over... guess what he was doing lmao.

He has stopped kissing me in the morning before he heads off to work, he won’t cuddle with me while we watch tv anymore. The first thing he does in the morning is check his Instagram. And now all of the sudden he has to spend a night away for ‘Work’ when he’s never had to do that before, he hangs gutters for a living so I don’t really see the need for a business trip there, especially when they’re staying the night 30 minutes from home.

I sent him an a listing for a house over text and it went off, then I sent him a couple more memes on Instagram and nothing... not a peep. I went on my own account into the settings and saw you can turn off notifications in the app but still have notifications turned on in iPhone settings so it all makes sense now. I’m so crushed at this point. He never posts about us or our daughter. There’s nothing on his page that would show him being in a relationship and I’ve brought it up to him before and he’s done nothing about it. He doesn’t even acknowledge me on social media, half of the time he doesn’t even like my own posts.

Idk what to do, I’ve never been cheated on before. I want to confront him but I feel like even if I do that and he is cheating then he’ll find some way of getting out of it. I feel like he’s good at covering his own tracks at this point, going back and deleting everything. I’m terrified that what I think is true and I’ll be left to raise our daughter alone, I don’t want that for her and I definitely don’t want her to think staying in an unhealthy relationship is okay. What do i do 😔 he makes me so happy and I love him and our family so much

Update: Thank you all for the comments, you all have been really helpful. I know I sound very naive and that may be frustrating for some of you, i apologize for that. I realize as a woman I need to stand my ground and not belittle myself by letting him treat me this way and get off so easily.

Anyways, he left for work yesterday morning. Last night was the night he had to spend out of town. I went to class and talked to an old friend about what was going on, I sat in my car for awhile thinking about what digging I could do with him being gone all night and then I realized he has the same password for everything.. Netflix, ps4, etc. I decided it was worth a shot. I put in his username, and the first option it could be. Incorrect. I tried again. Made it in. I went through his messages and there was nothing, I looked through everything on his account and there was no sign of any females talking to him. Of course, that still doesn’t mean shit. I logged out and decided I’ll wait until he gets home and wait until he’s sleeping and get him then, if he is cheating I will pack my things while he sleeps and leave before he wakes up. I am not going to give him the pleasure of arguing with me and giving me excuses. His number won’t be blocked as we will have matters to discuss about the baby and I will have to set up a time to pick up my furniture that is currently in our house (this is so funny to me LOL all the furniture in our place is mine that I inherited after my grandmas death, this nasty son of a fuck is literally going to be left with a bed, and a tv )😂. but the location will be turned off and all traces of him on social media will be deleted. I plan to go to my dads, he has an extra bedroom he’s willing to let me stay in that’s the perfect size for baby and I to live comfortably. He lives closer to the hospital I’m delivering at, and most importantly my boyfriend doesn’t know where he lives (we usually met him halfway for dinners, he lives an hour away from our home).

He didn’t text me at all yesterday, and didn’t talk to me last night until about 8:30/9:00 when he called me DRUNK from a bar where he’s staying. He claimed that his boss was feeding him beer after beer and he ‘kept the peace’ by getting shitfaced. Let me back track a bit here, while I was in class I texted him letting him know that I was having contractions every 15 minutes. I was hospitalized halfway through my pregnancy for preterm labour so I get worried. He continued to leave me on read so I stopped texting him all together. He called me around 9:00 and claimed to be super worried about the baby and I and how he doesn’t want to miss this and a bunch of other bullshit that was slurred together. Couldn’t really understand him at this point. So he hangs up and calls again about 30 minutes later, much drunker than the first time i talked to him. I was very cold to him at this point, he kept asking what was wrong and I just said “I’m tired” and “I don’t feel well” So then he started talking about how he wants to be a family with our daughter and I and how he promises me we’re going to get married. Lol more bullshit. And he kept asking me if I trusted him, I kept saying yes and played along in hopes that me assuring him I ‘trusted’ him would keep him from deleting everything so there would be evidence for me later -it’s a stretch but I don’t want him to know im suspicious just yet, I’m trying to gather more proof😂- so then he started talking about how everyone is unfaithful and he just wants to do good by me and how I should trust him because he only wants ‘me and me only’. More lies. So then he asked once again if I trusted him I said yeah and he asked if I was sure, said yes again and he said okay goodnight and hung up. He called me a few other times after that, each time being more drunk and less understandable. He said he just wanted me to know what he was doing apparently. He makes no sense lmao. He hasn’t talked to me at all today, I don’t expect him home until 6ish and once he falls asleep you guys already know I’m putting on my fbi badge and getting to work. Deep deep digging y’all. I will update you hopefully tonight, if not tomorrow.