This is my first post and I’ll probably get some criticism but I needed to tell someone!!

I’ve just got engaged to my boyfriend of 7 months!

We met in April this year and it was a bit of a whirlwind. We live together and are currently TTC - when you know you know I guess. I truly believe he is the love of my life. We have a connection I have never experienced before. Not just mentally but physically and sexually. I never had a huge sex drive before him (sex was a chore, having an orgasm - was a chore). But this time it’s just different. Everything about the relationship is different. Before him I never wanted children.

I was in a very messy relationship before him and by messy I mean we were married and are currently getting a divorce. He was a user and an abuser and a controller. Not physically but emotionally. He made me feel worthless and that my feelings and needs meant nothing to him. I came last on his list. I wasn’t allowed to do certain things, he’d constantly accuse me of cheating (which I have NEVER done to anyone) and play huge mind games constantly making me feel like I was in the wrong no matter what. After I ended it with him, I started to believe that love wasn’t a real thing. That it was a lie...Until I met my boyfriend. Since then my ex has moved on with his life - moved in with his new girlfriend and after 2 months of being together - are having a baby. I was genuinely happy for him. But I know it wouldn’t be a mutual feeling.

We’re going to keep the engagement super quiet, only telling close family - Until after the divorce is finalised. I don’t even know if I’m going to tell my best friend ( were at very different points in our lives and I don’t think she’d understand, she’s been with her boyfriend for 10 years and they are only just looking at living together, I have no problem with this and don’t judge her or her relationship, as long as she’s happy, I’m happy, but this isn’t always the same vice versa).

I just wanted to share my news...hoping for not a lot of negativity but positivity would be good and any people who have been through or experienced something similar.